One For The Baby August 28, 2008

I had to officially announce my pregnancy at work this week. Here in Japan a pregnant woman must inform the government of her pregnancy and receive the official Mother’s Handbook. Once the government knows, it makes sense to tell employers shortly thereafter. Additionally, Japanese women rarely wait until the end of the first trimester to tell people. There isn’t as much fear about miscarriage and, if it happens, there are support and coping mechanisms in place to insure that the woman and her family can properly grieve their loss. I actually like the lack of secrecy here, although I find it strange that most people here know we are pregnant when most of our family and friends at home don’t know.

Anyways, once I announced my pregnancy to my supervisor and principal, the news travelled like wildfire. The reaction has been completely positive, and it has really been so much fun sharing the news. Everyone seems genuinely happy and excited for us.

Just yesterday another teacher was walking around the office with a tupperware filled with sliced pears. She came and offered me one and then continued walking around the staff room and offering a slice to everyone who was there. Once she had finished giving everyone a chance at the pears she came back to me, handed me a second slice, and whispered, “one more for the baby.”

It was so sweet and thoughtful and I really appreciated her gesture, especially since the pears were so delicious.

9 Weeks August 25, 2008

So, I am just about finished with my 9th week and still experiencing symptoms of pregnancy, obviously, since I am still pregnant this is a very good thing.

Physical Symptoms

I am still feeling a bit fatigued, although that seems to be dropping off a bit. For awhile there, weeks 4-7ish, I couldn’t make it through the day without a nap. Now, I can make it through easily, but I look forward to getting to bed by about 9:00pm.

The nausea also seems to be getting a bit better. Either it is getting better, or I am just getting a bit better at managing it. The biggest trick I have learned is that it is ultra-important not to let my stomach get empty. This means that I have to eat something every 1.5 to 2 hours. It seems like I am eating constantly, but it really helps. Once I have gotten hungry, it is usually too late to ward off the nausea and once the nausea has set in it is insanely difficult to get it to go away. I also wake up in the middle of the night and drink a glass of milk. This helps fill up my stomach so that I can sleep all the way through to the morning and not wake up sick as a dog.

My boobs are still huge, but they seem to have stopped growing (for now) at about a size larger than usual. They don’t hurt nearly as much as they did before, but they are still a bit tender.

I am definitely getting a bit wider around the middle. Whether this is baby, extra weight or bloating from the constipation, I can’t be quite sure, but I am definitely changing. 

I am still peeing constantly. It seems I spend more time on the toilet than off of it.

Emotional Symptoms

I feel that I am a bit more prone to teariness than usual. I have always been a bit of a crier, but I definitely cry more now than I usually did.

I am feeling very excited about this little one. I am starting to find myself imagining our life once this little person comes to join us. I am excited to meet him or her and start taking care of them. I am excited about going to the zoo together as a family and eating meals with three of us. I know these things are all far in the future, but I already find the thoughts entering my daydreams. I am really excited about parenthood.

I am also very nervous and stressed. I am still not quite sure how to deal with all this and make it all work. I am not sure how things will go with my workplace and my need to take some leave, but I am hoping it will all work out. I am worried about disappointing my co-workers and my students. I am worried about how we will work things out financially on only one income. I am worried about a lot of things, but I guess that is probably quite normal.

Pregnancy Dreams August 22, 2008

The books warned me that this would start, and it has. I have started having weird, vivid, totally unusual dreams that stick with me long after I wake up. 

One of the most recent, and most disturbing, involved me and the baby in the hospital shortly after birth. Our baby had been taken to the nursery and I was left to rest and recover in my room. After I woke from my nap, I decided to go for a little walk to the nursery to check up on little R.

This is where the dream started to take a turn from a happy ooooh-our-baby-was-just-born dream, to a scary nightmarish type dream.

As I got closer and closer to the nursery I heard this strange grinding sound that got louder and louder as I approached. When I got to the window of the nursery, all the baby cots were empty. There wasn’t a baby or employee in sight and the grinding was still louder.

I got a little nervous about the missing babies and decided to check it out. I let myself into the nursery and walked around to the nurses room where there were rocking chairs and such. There, in the nurses room, was a giant blender (the source of the loud grinding noise) filled with this pale, chunky goo. Next to the blender was a maniacal nurse with a rolling pin, rolling out what I only assumed was the blended baby mixture from the giant blender.

I woke up in a sweat, terrified about the whole ordeal and wanted desperately to wake up my husband. I ended up not waking him up, feeling silly about disturbing him. Instead I went to the kitchen, got myself a big glass of milk (my favorite mid-sleeping snack) and made my way back to bed.

Most of my other dreams, while vivid, have been nowhere near as horrifying. I dream of my big old belly, of not being able to get up from my futon later in the pregnancy (in Japan we sleep on the floor), and of accidentally stepping on the baby when it is sleeping on the floor next to me on its own infant futon (that’s the way they do things here). My hubby has been having strange dreams as well. He recently decided that we need to reorganize the furniture and such in our bedroom because he had a dream that we had an earthquake and the printer fell on my head while I was sleeping.

I think our dreams reflect our reality. We are excited about this upcoming change, but also quite nervous about it. It is a big step, and with no real experience, we are merely assuming that we will be up to the challenge.

A Glorious Day August 14, 2008

A glorious vomit-free day that is! Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, I seem to be on an every-other-day schedule with the vomiting. That means I have one totally crappy day and then one okay-ish day. I guess I will take it. Even though I am not vomiting daily, I do find myself making breakfast choices based upon what I wouldn’t mind throwing up later rather than what I actually want to eat.

This stage of pregnancy is just so difficult. I generally feel crappy (nauseous, fatigued, etc.) and yet there is no physical belly bump there to justify my symptoms. (I am glad to hear that by the time I have a bump, I will likely feel better though.) Even with the ultrasound picture on the bulletin board, I can’t help but feel sometimes that this is all in my head.

I feel like I am barely pregnant, just beginning my 8th week, and yet so many choices are beginning to be made. Where will we have our baby? Who do we want to be there (made more complicated by the fact that we are not living in our home country)? What kind of parents do we want to be? What sorts of medical procedures do we want done during the pregnancy? What kind of delivery do we want? How much maternity leave should I take? How can we achieve a good experience in Japan? When should we leave Japan? 

It is enough to make my head swim! And it does tend to interrupt my sleep a bit. It almost seems as though nine months isn’t nearly enough time to prepare for all the changes we are going to experience and make all the decisions that have to be made. But, since everyone else seems to manage, I am sure we will too!

First Pregnancy Book August 12, 2008

Today I started reading my first pregnancy book, I felt that I couldn’t read them before going to the doctor as I didn’t think that it was really real. I am reading “The Pregnancy Book” by Martha and William Sears. So far I am really enjoying this book. The authors take such an uplifting approach to discussing pregnancy that it is completely reassuring. They describe pregnancy as something perfectly normal and healthy and they describe ways to cope.

One of the things that I most appreciate about this book is the way the deal with the emotional aspects of pregnancy. At the beginning of each month, before they even describe the physical changes occurring in a pregnant woman’s body, they describe the emotions that a woman might experience during that month. This part is so validating to me, and it makes everything that I am feeling seem so normal (sometimes it is easy to feel as though I am being completely irrational and unreasonable). They discuss pregnancy as a process toward becoming a parent, instead of just a random list of uncomfortable ailments. I really like that.

Today I am feeling very happy about the pregnancy. I am feeling calm and settled knowing that MB is developing normally and I feel that I can really enjoy it today. I am content knowing that now the odds are on our side and I feel as though I can relax, finally.

The authors really stress that a pregnant woman must need to create a healthy environment for the baby and this means eating well, avoiding environmental toxins (second-hand smoke and such), but also working on maintaining stress levels and a sense of well-being. After all, if stress hormones are coursing through my body they are also coursing through the babies. And no one wants that!

So, for now, I am going to keep doing what I am doing and try my best to keep my body and mind as healthy as I can. Not only will it be good for MB, but it will be good for me too!

First Ultrasound August 11, 2008

Tears of joy were shed today. I really had no concept of the extent of my worry, until the doctor told me that my baby was ok. (I followed up with a quick, “Really?!” and she reassured me that yes, everything was fine.) I felt as though a huge weight was lifted and I couldn’t help but cry. It was just so good to hear.

The first ultrasound didn’t have much to see, just a sac and a little bitty MB. But to our relief MB was there, and the heartbeat was flickering just like it was supposed to. It measured right where it should for the dates that I had and everything seems on track. We are beyond happy and excited!

My official due date, according to this doctor, is April 2nd. March/April seem like good months to have a baby, I think. Winter is on its way out and summer is still a while away. Sounds perfect! Now I am seriously excited and I totally can’t wait! 8 months to mommyhood!!

Yup….Still Pregnant July 31, 2008

The internet is both my greatest friend and my greatest foe. I find myself spending entirely too much time researching my “condition.” Including, researching the odds and symptoms of miscarriage (no, I have no reason to believe that this is going on, but I am really nervous about it). The average risk of miscarriage is 15-20% depending on the source, but that statistic includes mothers of all ages. Today I found a source that broke it down by decade (20’s, 30’s and 40’s). According to their data, women in their 20’s have a 10% risk of miscarriage and about half of those happen before the 5th week is completed. So, since I am in the middle of my sixth week, according to their data, I only have a 5% chance of losing this one. Finally, a source that reassures me and makes me feel better/less nervous. Perhaps I should stop looking now, before I find anything that contradicts that information and makes me nervous again.

We have been trying to relax a bit and rejoice in this pregnancy. I don’t want to deliver in March only to realize that I spent the whole time worrying and not enjoying the experience of being pregnant. A few days ago we spent some time brainstorming names. No, we won’t be sharing names with ANYONE until the baby is born, but we did find one boy name that we both agreed on. Wonder if ti will stick until March? For now, it is still MB.

Still Pregnant (24 dpo) July 30, 2008

I am now in the middle of my sixth week of pregnancy and I still can’t quite believe it. As we walked to the train station yesterday, I actually suggested to my husband that perhaps I should take another pregnancy test. After all, its been almost a week since I took the last one. Maybe we should check again?
 

He as usual, talked me down from my craziness and reminded me that if I become un-pregnant there will probably be a pretty obvious sign (bleeding). He’s right, of course, but I can’t help worrying.
 

Signs that I’m Still Pregnant
 

Boobs – Tender, Different Consistency and Larger

Nausea – When it is here, I feel terrible. When it is gone, I worry. I can’t win!
Food Aversions – Aside from cucumbers, apparently I don’t really like melon right now. Took one bite this morning and spit it right back out. Hate anything that is sweet (can’t stand ice cream, chocolate, cookies, anything)!
Cravings – Hard Boiled Eggs. The only food that consistently tastes good. I have eaten more hard boiled eggs in the past week than I have in the past two years. (I figure, they have everything necessary for a baby chicken, why not a baby human?)
Period – Still missing.
Fatigue – Definitely. Love the naps!

Bloating and Constipation – Fun! Fun!
 

So, yeah, everything seems to show that I am still pregnant. I am not sure that I will believe it until the baby pops out!

Good Comic July 28, 2008

Aaron found this comic while we were in the “trying to conceive” stage. It made us both smile then, and now that I am actually pregnant, it makes us smile even more.

I Hate Cucumbers… July 25, 2008

and Cucumbers hate me.

It’s been decided. Cucumbers and I are no longer friends. Especially after the way they refused to stay down this morning. I made the mistake of having a little cucumber snack on a fairly empty stomach before lunch today. It wasn’t long before the cucumbers decided they didn’t really want to be my snack at all and I was running to the ladies restroom at work.

This is the second time in a week that I have vomited at work. Last time one person walked into the ladies room while I was at it. This time two people did. I really wonder how long it will take before everyone catches on. . .